i don't like people to know that i don't have it all together. i know it sounds silly, but it's true. yesterday and today, i hit a low. elise has been very fussy and it has brought out a lot in me. i have felt frustrated and upset. i have shed tears. and this morning, the Lord met me here and showed me my pride and my desire for control. i want to have this scheduling thing down with her...i want to have it all together...i want to look like a "good mom". i see in myself so much pride and a desire for man's praise...so much sin.
God convicted me through a web site i stumbled upon called, "How to Survive Baby Boot Camp". Here's the link in case anyone wants to check it out. it's off the Focus on the Family site: http://www.family.org/parenting/A000000457.cfm i was challenged to relinquish control, ask for help, give up my desire for perfection, and recognize and admit i can't do it all by myself...and that's ok. i was having so much trouble getting elise to sleep yesterday...and as i type this, where is she? sleeping :) Thank you Lord for that gift. the Lord is so good to show me my heart...to reveal sin that i need to repent of (through my 3 week old daughter no less)...and to remind me once again of His love for me just as i am and His sustaining grace that will show me the way one day at a time.
1 comment:
It's a hard day when we new moms finally come to the realization that we just can't do it all, but it's also a blessing. It allows us to relax a bit and back down from our pride to ask for help when we need it. I went through the same thing with Aidan. I wanted to prove to everyone that I could do it all. It was such a relief to let go of that pride and control. Sometimes I still can struggle with that sin of pride, but I know that with God's help I can overcome it again.
There is also a site just for moms to come together and talk, laugh, cry and support each other. It's www.cafemom.com. This site has been a lifeline for me when I need someone to talk to who understands what all of us moms go through. It might be something worth checking out for you.
Love,
Magen
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