Tuesday, June 17, 2008

happy father's day

i feel a strong need to do a father's day post. father's day has been a sad holiday for me over the years. it has been a melancholy reminder of how my own dad did not meet the expectations i had of him while growing up. some years it has been a chance for me to throw a pity party. other years it has been my day to be angry...and some years i think it went by with me hardly noticing at all. some years i have sent a card to my dad...others i deliberately did not. some years i've reached out to him, and others i have aimed to ignore him by not acknowledging the day at all. in the last few years though, God showed me (through my wonderful mother in law)clearly and in a way that made a lot of sense to my soul, that i need to keep in contact with my dad...out of obedience to God in honoring my father...out of care for him...out of a desire to have no regrets when one day i will not be able to talk with him...out a desire to show him the love of Christ in a real way. whatever my motive on a particular day, i realized it doesn't matter...i just need to do it. so, i've been sending cards, photos and making calls throughout the year...with no expectations (much easier said than done, i assure you...but again, the Lord has carried me to this point and i'm so grateful that He allows me to really pursue my father without expecting anything in return.) i don't want to sound like a martyr...it's just a good place to be. my dad is a good man. i wish he knew the Lord. but i can honestly say, that i understand as much as i am able, why things are the way they are.

after justin and i got married, i had the privilege of celebrating his dad on father's day, which was so easy to do! what a man of God he is. it's so evident how he loves God and his family. i love spending time with him, hearing his corny jokes (which i inevitably laugh at), and seeing him smile...and he works like no one's business. you've never seen such a work ethic in a man...and he's passed it on to his son:) seeing them work together (even show up to events dressed similarly) is just a privilege! it was so nice to attach such wonderful feelings of joy and love to father's day.

then my own mom got married to a wonderful Christian man. he is another one who makes celebrating father's day easy. he also has a corny sense of humor (i am surrounded by them!), he loves the Lord, he loves his family...i cannot even describe how amazing it is to watch a man marry a woman with three children and treat them as his own. his love is evidenced through hugs, laughter, even finances. he is dad to us and grampy to elise and i'm so thankful.

but now that elise is here and i am celebrating my husband on father's day...i'm coming to a new level of recognition and appreciation for this holiday. as we rode to church on sunday, i was telling justin how amazing and mind-boggling it is to me, that elise will never have to worry about having more than one dad, keeping in touch with them, wondering how they feel about her, wondering why she hasn't heard from one or all of them...to have just one dad...what a thought that was to me! and if that weren't enough...elise has a father who loves her, lives with her, spends time with her, makes her laugh, prays for her, is gentle and compassionate towards her...

though not perfect...what an accurate picture of God she will see evidenced by her earthly father (and grandfathers).


that is something to celebrate and be thankful for.

4 comments:

Sweet Treats and Baby Feet said...

What a beautiful post! I teared up!

Kimberly said...

How honest, encouraging, and edifying your words are on this topic and about these men in your and your daughter's lives. I loved reading this!

linda said...

Well said. Your words rang true about Mr.Baloche. I often think of him on Father's day as they were kind of my weekend parents for so long. I remember it all well, his very hard work and ever dependable love and kindness to his family, his pancakes and those corny jokes, that you couldn't help laughing at. I'll never forget once when Mr. and Mrs.Baloche came to one of my art shows and he gave me flowers and it made me cry. As big as there family was they always had room for just one more. I'm a grateful recipient of the fatherly love he's given to many.

What a Wonderful World said...

I LOVE THIS POST SHANA! how honest and amazing