good bye josie girl

the time has finally come. justin's loyal companion of fourteen years, mine for four, and lisey's for one, has finally left us. i'm honestly at a loss for words right now, but not much can describe the loyalty and gentleness of this dog. she was a gift. there is a hole now where she was...she's not on her rug in our room, she's not trying to lay on the rugs she knew she wasn't supposed to be on, she's not dancing around the kitchen wanting to eat, she's not sniffing the dishwasher, trash can, or stove while i'm cooking...she's not allowing lisey to pat her aggressively or play with her ears or grab chunks of her fur while saying, "ahhhh, doggie".

seeing her put down was something i have never experienced before. it was peaceful. she was at peace, finally, after a rough 48 hours of not being able to stand on her own, shaking, panting, having to be carried outside to go to the bathroom...finally she was at peace. we knew the day would come, but i secretly hoped she'd just keep on going. i'll miss the security she gave me. sure, she couldn't bark as fiercely as she once could, and her hearing wasn't all that great, and she was slow to her feet...but i did feel secure with her around. i'll miss her companionship. i'll miss her following me around the house, waiting to lay down until she knew where i was going to sit. i'll miss her eating lisey's food that happened to land on the floor. i'll miss her greeting me at the door each time i returned home. i'll miss her genuine excitement when justin would come home and she heard, "daddy's home". i'll miss her laying outside while he worked, just so she could be near him or watching her look all over the house trying to find him when he was in the basment or the backyard.

i've often made fun of those who have been so attached and emotional about their pets. i didn't understand how a dog could become such a part of the family. but the tears that i struggled to hold back this morning, proved that i've experienced just that. and i'm left thinking, if this is how i feel about her...to what depths will justin miss her.

we're talking about getting another shepherd at some point...but the truth is, there won't be another one quite like josie. we are thankful to have had her as long as we did. the vet said today that her long life is a testimony to justin and his family and the care and love she received. it was what motivated her to keep on going. anyone who knew the justin and josie connection, knew that to be the truth. her love and loyalty for him, is what motivated her. you've never seen such follow-him-wherever-he-would-go-loyalty...upstairs, downstairs, outside, inside, kitchen, bathroom...there was no place she would not follow him. you wouldn't believe it unless you've seen it. with her floppy ear, bad back legs and heart of a pup...she was one special dog. we miss you jose.